Circle of Friends
Children Helping Children
Circle of Friends is one of several ‘person-centred’
planning tools developed initially in North America and Canada
to promote the inclusion of pupils with disabilities in mainstream
schools. It is used to normalise the life experience of disabled
pupils who, as a result of their disability, are seen as vulnerable
and at risk of being excluded from the typical pattern of friendships
and extended relationships that are so critical for all of us.
Those who developed the approach describe it as being for those
who are at risk of being isolated, institutionalised, left out,
kicked out and locked out of the mainstream of life (Pearpoint
et al, 1992).
Inclusive tools are now being used more and more in the United
Kingdom. In particular work around the use of Circle of Friends
has been lead by Colin Newton and Derek Wilson, former educational
psychologists with Nottingham City Local Education Authority
and founders of Inclusive Solutions. It was through my work
as an educational psychologist in Nottingham that I was introduced
to this powerful and potentially life-changing tool and was
involved in setting up Circles of Friends for children and young
people from 7 years through to 14 years with a wide range of
needs.
Through the various education support services, both in Nottingham
and increasingly further a field throughout the U.K., circles
have been set up for children with a whole range of needs including:
children with physical disabilities; children with autism; children
who are moving from a special school placement to a mainstream
school placement or children who may be attending part-time
at each; children who are at risk of exclusion because of challenging
behaviour; children who are socially vulnerable for a combination
of reasons.
Inclusion
Circle of Friends, as with all inclusive tools, is based on
certain assumptions:
- That all people belong
- That all people can learn
- That everyone benefits from being together
- That diversity is one of our most critical strengths
In light of this it’s impossible to truly understand the
development of this approach without seeing it in the broader
context of the movement towards inclusion – inclusive principles
came first, the practice followed.
Inclusion is values based and is about recognising that we are
‘one’ even though we are not the ‘same’.
Those who believe in full inclusion believe that until everyone
belongs and has an equal place in our schools and wider communities
social justice does not exist. However no-one who advocates
these values would claim that they are easily obtainable. Herb
Lovett, an American clinical psychologist and writer on inclusion,
talks about how most people will draw the line somewhere for
their ‘criterion of belonging’. However this line
is continually moving. In the UK as recently as 1973 children
and young people with IQs measured as being below 50 were deemed
to be ‘ineducable’ and excluded from the school system
(Newton and Wilson, 1999). This was happening just 20 years
ago.
Natural Supports
Children are the natural supports that already exist within
the classroom and yet they are often the forgotten resource
that is not recognised by the many professionals and adults
who are involved in the life of a child with disabilities and
who are more often than not the people making the critical decisions
for how that child is to be best supported. A peer support programme
such as Circle of Friends recognises the tremendous power of
the peer group and that children who are labelled and marginalized
can become increasingly isolated from this rich resource.
The Aims
First and foremost the aim is to develop a support network for
the child. The process also aims:
* To give the child more choices
* To enable the child to deal successfully with victimisation
* To reduce a child’s challenging behaviour (if such behaviour
exists)
* To help the child make more friends
These are by no means easily achievable aims. In particular
the last one can be very challenging. And yet the need for healthy
relationships can be at the heart of the needs of many vulnerable
children.
The core concept
The core concept on which the process is built is that we all
have main circles of support in our lives that can be pictured
as four concentric circles:
< in
the central circle are our anchors (the people who are closest
to us, usually our immediate family;
< in
the next circle outwards are our allies (our best friends or
close relatives, the people we confide in);
< in
the circle outside that are our associates (people we are happy
to spend time with, people who come and go in our lives);
< finally,
in the outside circle, are our paid associates (people who are
paid to be in our lives such as teachers, medical staff, social
workers).
Often as adults we may not reflect on the support circles in
our own lives. They can be so interwoven into the fabric of
our lives that to identify them and recognise the strength they
give us is not something we make the time to do. To ask the
question to a group of 9 year olds ‘what makes a friend’
can bring responses that are funny, warm, insightful, and that
carry a resonance with our own adult responses, for example
”my definition of a friend is one who knows all about you
and won’t go away” (anonymous)!
Through the process of Circle of Friends the child’s peer
group is guided in reflecting on the importance of their own
circles and how they would feel if these circles were not so
full and how this in turn might effect how they behave. Once
empathy has been created towards the focus child, where previously
there might have been wariness, a lack of interest or downright
animosity, a circle of volunteers is set up to support that
child.
Getting Started
Both
the literature and my own experience of setting up a circle
is that within the school there needs to be at least one member
of staff that believes that the child should be included, understands
the process and values it. If that person exists then generally
all other obstacles can be overcome. The commitment of this
person need be no more than “well we’ll give it a
try”. Some effort and planning may be needed to identify
and encourage such a person.
< Time
needs to be available each week for the group to meet. It helps
to have management on board so that they can give support around
freeing up some time for the member of staff who is facilitating
the group.
< The
child’s parent or carer needs to have given their permission
and support.
< The
child needs to have had the process explained in basic terms
and needs to have given permission for the process to be set
up. This relates particularly to the initial whole class session
where the focus child is not present. Often the job of explaining
what is being proposed is done most effectively by a member
of staff in the school who has the trust of the child.
Once permission from the various parties has been given there
follows a 4 stage process:
1. The initial meeting
with the class
This is where someone with the necessary skills works with the
child’s whole class to establish what the difficulties
are for the focus child, to evoke empathy and to highlight each
class member’s critical role in helping to move things
forwards. It’s not essential that the person leading this
session is an outside professional – it could be the class
teacher or another member of staff within the school (the class
teacher may be needed to contribute to the process as a participant).
It is important that it is someone who can be objective about
the situation and who the class trust and feel they can be honest
with.
The focus child, having given their permission for the session
to take place, does not attend. Often one of the most sensitive
moments of the process for the facilitator is informing the
class of the purpose of the meeting – to talk about another
child who is not present. This goes against the message that
we give children that it’s wrong to talk about someone
‘behind their back’. It’s vital to emphasise
that the child has given their permission for the meeting to
take place because they believe it will help them. My experience
of this part of the process is that without exception class
groups will respond to this in a respectful and responsible
way. They, the class , feel pleased that this trust and responsibility
is being placed in them. Linked to this is the importance of
spending time talking about confidentiality, what this means
and why it’s so important.
The initial meeting lasts about an hour and covers the following
points:
§
Introduction
§
Ground rules
§
Establishing who we will be talking about and why
§
Confidentiality
§
What are the things we like about him/her?
§
What is happening when things don’t go so well?
§
Our own circles – identifying these and thinking about
how we would feel and act if we did not have them (developing
empathy)
§
Helping ideas – getting the class to be problem solvers
All the steps and the children’s responses are written
up on flip chart paper so that they can be referred back to.
At the end of the whole class session the children are asked
to volunteer if they would like to be part of a circle of friends
for the child that will meet every week. Generally 6 –
8 children can be selected to be part of the group. Again another
risky-feeling moment is waiting to see who and how many will
volunteer to be part of the group. And while a concern of school
staff or parents might be that no-one volunteers, this has rarely,
if ever, been an issue. In the past I have had situations where
every member of the class has volunteered and often one of the
best parts of the process is being able to tell the child afterwards
how many of his/her classmates wanted to be part of the group.
The group can be selected based on various criteria including:
their contribution during the whole class session; the teacher’s
knowledge of the children who they feel might be a helpful member;
children that represent a cross section of friendship groups
within the class. It certainly should not be made up of only
the ‘good’ kids within the class. Children with their
own issues have been seen to benefit greatly from being part
of the support group. A group that is about supporting one of
its members gives the message that it’s ok to have needs,
that it’s ok to find some situations difficult and that
when that happens it’s ok to look to others for support.
All members of the group, not just the focus child, will experience
acceptance as a result of being part of the group.
Following the whole class meeting a member of staff talks to
the focus child about what has been planned and who will be
part of the group. It is absolutely vital that the child agrees
with this before things can proceed.
2. The first meeting
of the circle
This session can last for 30 – 40 minutes and covers the
following:
* Facilitator introduces themselves
* Agree ground rules and explain confidentiality
* Agree aims of the group
* Invite group members to tell the child why they volunteered
to be in his or her group
* Elicit and list positives and areas the child needs help to
work on
* Brainstorm strategies
* Agree which strategies can be tried and ensure commitment
to these from the group. Be clear with the group about responsibilities,
disclosures and boundaries. Let them know what is expected of
them and the limits to this
* Agree a name for the group, avoiding the child’s name
* Describe meeting and follow-up arrangements and encourage
support from the group.
3. Subsequent meetings of the group
Meetings then take place once a week with a key member of staff.
The meeting runs for 30 – 40 minutes and focuses on problem
solving to help the focus child. It also gives space for positive
things that have happened that week to be recognised and celebrated
and difficulties to be named and solutions, tactics and supportive
ideas generated. The role of the facilitator is to establish
ground rules, set and maintain boundaries, and generally ensure
there is a safe space for the group to share feelings and be
creative around ideas for helping the focus child. The aim is
that the atmosphere is one of trust, honesty, openness and mutual
support. Ideas generated by the group for support and intervention
are often very simple but significantly more effective than
more complex interventions drawn up by a group of professionals..
4. A review
The facilitator of the original whole class session should then
return around the end of the term to find out from focus child,
the circle, the class as a whole and any staff involved what
they feel the impact has been of the circle.
How the rest of the group benefit
As mentioned earlier the benefits of being part of a circle
are not just for the focus child. Other children in the group
can benefit hugely from taking part and can show development
in empathy, problem solving skills, listening skills, their
ability to identify and express feelings, their ability to understand
the links between feelings and behaviour and an increased awareness
of an individual’s power to change.
Why does it appear to be so effective?
The leaders in this field have put together a number of hypotheses
on why this approach can be so effective. These include:
< The
focus child gets a lot from having additional attention focused
on them
< Being
made to feel more accepted can radically alter behaviour
< Children
can be more effective at bringing about change for other children
than adults can – the child is more likely to listen to
his or her peers
< A
structure is put in place for problem solving and support
< The
openness of discussion that takes place through a circle of
friends provides a model for other relationships more generally
within the class and school.
In my own experience of doing this work I think that there are
two other key aspects to the process that make it so successful:
< One
is the fact that all the children involved , both the focus
child and all others, are given a sense that their opinions
really matter, that the adults around them are really listening
and that they can play a real part in changing someone’s
life in a positive way.
< The
other is the fact that the process facilitates the children
involved making a connection, that can be difficult for both
adults and children alike to make, between feelings and behaviour,
which in turn leads to a strong sense of empathy.
Reflections
I have had the great privilege to be part of the process of
setting up circles for a number of children and young people
with a range of needs. As an educational psychologist it was
the singularly most rewarding aspect of my work and lead to
a number of those ‘goosebump moments’ when you hear
other children express their feelings and thoughts on how and
why life is the way it is for the focus child with an honesty,
empathy and insight that often eludes the many adults who are
working with that child. It can be a very humbling experience
as an adult to hear this. The process is about respecting the
great capacity that children have to be effective problem solvers
and giving them the opportunity, with adult support, to put
this ability into practice in a way that is safe for all involved.
At best it has the potential to transform the day-to-day lives
of some of our most vulnerable children.
Circle of Friends is not concerned with what is ‘wrong’
with the focus child but rather is based on the assumption that
acceptance can lead to change. It recognises the role of the
peer group and the power of ‘pupil culture’. It is
an effective tool for inclusion and building community but at
the same time is light on additional resources. It does involve
risk taking (anyone who has set up a circle of friends could
not deny the sense of risk at the start of that initial class
session!) but ultimately it is likely to make everyone feel
more included.
As someone relatively new to working life in Ireland, I am struck
by the energy and interest there is currently in issues relating
to disability and equal rights. The process described here,
and the use of peer support more broadly, fits with this current
climate of optimism and the desire for radical change around
how things are done for children and young people with disabilities.
It offers a positive approach, already in use internationally,
that ultimately will reduce segregation and increase inclusion.
Resources:
Leyden, G. (1996) ‘Cheap Labour or Neglected Resource?’
the role of the peer group and efficient, effective support
for children with special needs. Educational Psychology in Practice.
11, 4, 49 – 55.
Lovett, H. Learning to Listen: Positive Approaches and People
with Difficult Behaviour (1996) Brookes Publishing Co, Inc
Newton, C., Wilson, D. and Taylor, G. (1996) ‘Circles of
Friends’: an inclusive approach to meeting emotional and
behavioural needs. Educational Psychology in Practice, 11, 4,
41 - 18
Newton, C., and Wilson, D. Circles of Friends (1999) Dunstable:
Folens Press
Pearpoint, J., Forest, M. and Snow, J., (1992) The Inclusion
Papers: Strategies to make inclusion work. Toronto: Inclusion
Press
www.inclusive-solutions.com
www.inclusion.com
By
Bronagh McCloskey, Educational Psychologist
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