Including Children and Young People with Challenging Behaviour Keys to Behaviour & Relationships :  Restorative Approaches : Emotional Needs of Boys : Movement Differences :  Training :   Books : Special Offer :  Full Training List

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Great Offer on Our Newest Books!!! Save money when you buy our three newest books Restorative Solutions, Dear Parents and Seeing the Charade together. Click on the flier to download pdf with more information and order form.

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Keys to Behaviour and Relationships

The First Key: Welcome and Listening

Lets get the welcome right and then lets really listen! Safety and security are everything!!

It has been said that 90% of behavior problems come from children wanting adults to listen to them. One study reported that the number one request from suicidal teenagers was for adults to listen to them. The medical power of listening has also been proven by various studies.

Clearly, we all feel better when we feel heard. And we feel better when we feel understood. In order to be understood, we must be listened to. Often it is more important to us to feel heard than to actually get what we said we wanted. On the other hand, feeling ignored and misunderstood is literally painful whether we are six or sixty.

Checkout our blog on getting the welcome right!

Check out these simple guidelines on Listening

The Second Key: Our Learning and Their Learning!

Learning styles/preferences and accommodations for individual needs are becoming better understood all the time.

Teaching and learning, as Paul Ginnis put it, are about the learner “working it out for himself” about dramatic, unusual and multi-sensory teaching methods about the creation of a teaching environment which is emotionally and physically safe about pupil control over his/her learning about making choices and decisions which lead to true independent learning. Surely all these make good sense for pupils with major emotional needs?

Paul Ginnis has produced a number of useful resources for educators in this area. A Guide to Student-Centred Learning (1986, reprinted 15 times) and The Student-Centred School (1990). The Teachers’ Toolkit , published January 2002 by Crown House is an excellent resource for all teachers. Check out these student friendly resources for English: lesson plans, schemes of work and resources

 

Circle of Courage

We have found this model extremely helpful to many people trying to make sense of young people's behaviour. The 4 basic needs of belonging, achievement, independence and generosity and the way in which pursuing these needs can so easily become distorted gives many clues as to where to go next with a young person's behaviour.

Education and empowerment of children provides the foundation for a Native American Belief System of positive discipline. In Reclaiming Youth at Risk, Brendtro, Broken leg and Van Bockern (1990) use the symbolism of the medicine wheel to describe the Circle of Courage. This circle entwines central tenets of belonging, mastery, independence and generosity; all components being equally important. In a holistic teaching approach, it becomes vital to understand these components and to be proactive in maintaining the circle for each student in the community of the classroom.

The Circle of Courage has gained international attention and has been adopted by numerous schools , agencies, and organizations for troubled children and youth. The Circle of Courage is based upon Native American ideals that if achieved lead to sound mental health and functioning. To some extent they are similar to hierarchies of "needs" such as that espoused by psychologist Abraham Maslow. Educational and rehabilitation programs may use many strategies to help children and youth attain the core ideals. The circle suggests unity of function.

The four colours of the circle represent four races that are nevertheless as one .Belonging is the first of the ideals. The emotionally healthy individual must be able to identify with and relate to others.So many pupils with EBD labels in the UK and elsewhere experience no sense of belonging in either school or family life. Mastery/Achievement is the second ideal: each person must be able to accomplish basic tasks in order to feel worthy and maintain good self-esteem. The third ideal is Independence. Independence follows logically from Mastery and enables the individual to set,pursue and attain personal goals. The fourth ideal is Generosity. The person who is fulfilled has "extra" that he or she can give to others. Ultimately, then, altruism is needed if a person is ever to be emotionally and behaviorally stable .Opportunities for the most challenging to be generous are usually severely restricted!Yet this this represents 25% of basic human needs.

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The Third Key: The Long View

We need to take the long view when planning proving and placement for individuals with complex and challenging needs. Currently our system is too geared up for short term decisions.

Person centred planning tools provide one process for helping us think longer term with our dreams and our nightmares. Check out resources for developing your MAP skills. The MAP process below was the result of working with a diverse team around a young man who has spent many years in public care and for whom courageous inclusive educationalists and Social Service workers managed to maintain locally despite forces wanting him to be 'sent away to residential' . Wayne dreams of a mansion in which young people in care can stay and be well looked after...

We must take the long view in our planning for complex individuals however young they are.

‘What do you want to be when you grow up’?

How often have you heard this question asked of typical children? What was your own answer as a child to this question? However we so often will not ask this same question of challenging children and families will often say ‘we dare not think beyond today’ let alone into the long term future. So we go about planning for children with complex problems as if they did not really have a long-term future and adulthood. We make major decisions such as placement in a special school or unit without having regard for the long term implications of such a move. The child when they do become an adult are greatly at risk of vulnerability and isolation from the wider community into which they find themselves a part, or not a part. We live in a society that does not have special shops or special bus stops….

Check out Colin and Derek's thinking on this in full....

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The Fourth Key: Locating Gifts and Capacity

'Possibilities of goodness'

Locating gifts, talents and capacity in children and adults we work with is a much more radical idea than it might seem. Check out the Now Discover Your Strengths book available from Amazon.

All About me This excellent booklet has been written by a young person from Scotland with help from those who know him best. Essential lifestyle planning underpins many of the questions.This work shows how important gifts are when planning for pupil's education. Person centred booklets like these are appearing all around the UK. They are getting names like Personal Portfolio or Passport. Develop your own for a child you know today!!

Strengths & Strategies Profile (Kluth, P. & Dimon-Borowski, M. 2003) This form can be used as an attachment to a positive behavior plan or as a communication tool for teams who are transitioning a student from teacher to teacher or school to school. A student’s team (e.g., teachers, family, therapists) should work together to fill in this form. Ideally, each list should contain NO LESS than fifty items. Sharing what matters!

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The Fifth Key: Intentional Building of Relationships

We all need to accommodate each other and find new ways of repairing the damage we can do to each other in our school, family and community settings.

Circle of Friends is of course a key tool for entering the messy world of relationships and can make an amazing difference to individuals with the most challenging behaviour and hard to reach emotional needs.

See Arousha's Circle in Action on the DVD or by clicking here....

Roots of Empathy is a powerful idea whose time has come. An evidence-based classroom program, its mission is to build caring, peaceful, and civil societies – child by child – through the development of empathy in children. Read more here...

The Sixth Key: It's All About Teams

Circles of Adults This is a rich approach to encouraging teachers and other practitioners to mutually support each other with in depth problem solving and emotional insights.It works even better with graphic facilitation and synthesis as we have been discovering. Speak to us for details.We are currently rewriting this paper...feel free to feedback to us.We are providing training to model this approach.

This woks links well to that of educational therapy. Educational Therapy is a way of working with children who have learning difficulties. It combines teaching with therapeutic exploration of the emotional factors, which may impede their learning.

Children in school can experience difficulties, which may prevent them from accessing the curriculum and managing in class. A better understanding of the complex issues underlying these problems helps teachers to find new ways of thinking about children and strategies for helping them both therapeutically and by preventing difficulties from developing.

Quick step by step guide to Circles of Adults

Circles of Adults Teams Reflecting and Problem Solving Around Emotional Needs and Challenging Behaviour We are now seeking a host organisation who would like to collaborate in hosting a further series of coaching sessions in 2009. Let us know if your team are interested. These 10 monthly sessions will model an in-depth problem solving process for use by teams working around the inclusion of a challenging individual. Using both process and graphic facilitation the group is guided through a set of key questions to reach a shared and deeper understanding of the young person's challenging behaviours, unmet emotional needs and to develop fresh strategies to support change. Participants will be expected to develop facilitation skills as well as to bring the stories of the most challenging young people they are involved with to the group sessions as the problem presenter in the Circles of Adults process. Participants will receive direct feedback and supportive coaching as they learn the process skills involved. By the end of the 10 sessions participants will feel able to lead the process within their own work settings. Read more about Circles of Adults.

 

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Restorative Solutions

Do something. In the face of hatred, apathy will be interpreted as acceptance — by the haters, the public and, worse, the victim. Decency must be exercised, too. If it isn't, hate invariably persists.

Restorative Justice is an essential ingredient for the inclusive school and education system. Howard Zehr is one of the pioneers of this Restorative process. See him on video at YOUTube so is Desmond Tutu who can be seen on video here.

The Compass of Shame

The Compass of Shame
(adapted from Nathanson, 1992) illustrates the various ways that human beings react when they feel shame. The four poles of the compass of shame and behaviors associated with them are: 1. Withdrawal — isolating oneself, running and hiding, 2. Attack self—self put-down, masochism
3. Avoidance — denial, abusing drugs, distraction through thrill-seeking
4. Attack other—turning the tables, lashing out verbally or physically, blaming others. Nathanson says that the "attack other" response to shame is responsible for the proliferation of violence in modern life. Usually people who have adequate self-esteem readily move beyond their feelings of shame. Nonetheless, we all react to shame, in varying degrees, in the ways described by the compass. Restorative practices, by their very nature, provide an opportunity for us to express our shame, along with other emotions, and in doing so reduce their intensity. In restorative conferences, for example, people routinely move from negative affects through the neutral affect to positive affects.

Read more at www.realjustice.org/library/bc04_wachtel.html

Watch and listen to the originator of this idea on YouTube or check out this YouTube video on Shame and Guilt.

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We have been supporting the development of Robin Tinker's work in Nottingham focused on secondary schools. Check out the links on the Transforming Conflict site, it is an excellent site developing restorative justice still further. There are at least 6 national UK projects currently being evaluated and highly likely to be followed by a national roll out of this initiative.Try Restorative School Documents for some very practical resources.

Trust and Forgiveness find new importance within this key to meeting emotional needs. Forgiveness really has to be worked on and needs to be seen in Relationship Policies in schools (our preferred alternative to Behaviour Policies). Check out the 9 steps to forgiveness

Peter Keane on video talking about: Peer Mediation , Restorative work with children and the Role of Support Services in South Tyneside

Our New Book!            

Restorative Solutions: Making it Work

Colin Newton and Helen Mahaffey

This is a practical book about how to implement Restorative interventions and approaches in schools. The book gives guiding ideas, principle, theory and values as well as direct scripts for those involved in direct contact with pupils, staff and parents. Restorative Solutions are about inclusion, transforming relationships and radical ways of impacting upon conflict and rule breaking behaviour. All schools in the UK and Support Service staff will want a copy. Parents will also find it an extremely valuable resource for bringing up their own children peacefully.

There is also a pack available featuring a great DVD created in Milton Keynes led by Tom McCready.

Order Book ~ Order Pack

Download the 'Short Restorative Conference Process' sample of the book

 

Undercover Teams

Undercover Teams (Bill Hubbard: New Zealand) are a low-intrusion restorative approach to bullying and are an adaptation of the influential and far-sighted work in the early 90’s of Barbara Maines and George Robinson of the UK. They labeled their support group approach to addressing school bullying as “No-Blame”. At the time and for years later, some people believed that this process was the single answer to school bullying that everyone had been looking for. Undercover Teams represent a unique tool that fits within the family of 'restorative responses' . Undercover Teams are a 'targeted approach to - repairing relationships.

Viewed using a restorative perspective, Undercover Teams (UTs) may not be regarded by some practitioners as ‘fully restorative’ because the victims of bullying and the offending students are not brought face-to-face as part of the process however this fact alone should not undermine the worth of UTs. Rather, UTs can represent a niche process for supporting young people who may be fearful at the prospect of participating in a restorative conference situation. For students who have been bullied for much or all of their school lives, this can often be the case.

Restorative Links and Resources

• Peer Support. Peer Support is an intervention designed to improve the effectiveness of interpersonal relationships in schools and colleges, in youth work and other workplaces. Systems of peer support involve equal status peers who are trained to offer help to others who are experiencing problems, such as bullying. This new programme in peer support is the first in the UK to be university accredited.
• The Forgiveness Project is an organisation working to promote conflict resolution and restorative justice as alternatives to the endless cycles of conflict, violence and crime that are the hallmarks of our time.
• Fight Hate and promote Tolerance. Great place for teaching tolerance resources and ideas.
• What is really important when meeting emotional needs? In Punished by Rewards Alfie Kohn challenges us to get back to what really counts and not be so preoccupied with rewards and punishments!
• Some excellent work is detailed here about Restorative Interventions in Scotland
• Restorative Justice in Banbury Video clip to view online here

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Emotional Needs of Boys

This is a theme we provide considerable training around because of the over representation of boys in special schools and within exclusion statistics,and as they grow up they continue to be over represented among those with mental health problems, in prison and so on. Recent 2003 UK HMI/OFTED publications OFSTED finds extra R helps boys perform well at school and Boys Achievement in Secondary Schools have highlighted the importance of boys experiencing respect, high expectations, constructive feedback, clear limits and a sense of humour! Boys respect teachers who are enthusiastic and knowledgeable. In successful secondary schools where boys make good progress there is a 'non macho' culture, where they can feel valued by an ethos that celebrates diverse achievements, where short term tasks are set and work is marked promptly with detailed feedback. These schools have plenty of extra curricular activities, teaching is at a 'sprightly pace' and there is good use of computers and interactive learning value is placed on the diversity of learning styles and all experience a true sense of belonging!

Boyz 2 Men

Check out this wonderful ongoing piece of work in an inner city primary school.This OFSTED praised work shows the powerful use of drama, art and music in the meeting of emotional needs.For a fuller description click here.

Creative Partnerships works to give school children in areas throughout England the opportunity to develop their potential, their ambition, their creativity and imagination through sustainable partnerships with creative and cultural organisations, businesses and individuals. For more information, visit them at Creative Partnerships

Emotional Intelligence, emotional competence and emotional literacy are so important to develop and teach especially among our boys and young men. The dark side of emotional intelligence will be very familiar to many visitors to this site and yet is seldom as well explored.

Gentle Teaching may offer us a new way of exploring relationships with those who are hard to reach...Gentle Teaching is a non violent approach for helping people with special needs and sometimes challenging behaviours that focuses on four primary goals of care-giving:

• teaching the person to feel safe with us
• teaching the person to feel engaged with us
• teaching the person to feel unconditionally loved by us
• teaching the person to feel loving towards us

Gentle Teaching is a strategy based on a Psychology of Interdependence that sees all change as being mutual and bringing about a feeling of companionship and community- symbols of justice and non-violence

PRUs Are they good or bad?Check out the arguments in this paper by Colin Newton and Derek WIlson which draws upon DfES policies as well as research.

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Movement Differences

Understanding Movement Differences can be key to including many challenging children and adults who appear very different and may have labels of autism, Tourette syndrome, or severe learning difficulty.

Check out developing radical thinking on our movement differences page >>>

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Training and Books

Our Training Fresh approaches to behaviour and relationships Meeting the needs of children in care Engaging the hard to reach Attachment difficulties: Including children Multi agency working Problem solving tools and techniques Restorative Solutions Creating circles of friends Circles of adults

Books Books Inclusive Solutions: Creating Circles of Friends Inclusive Solutions: Restorative Solutions: Making it Work Inclusive Solutions: Circles of Adults DVDs Inclusive Solutions: Circles of Adults - DVD Inclusive Solutions: Circles of Friends - DVD Inclusive Solutions: Peer Mediation - DVD Inclusive Solutions: Restorative Justice at Ryton Park - DVD Inclusive Solutions: Solution Circle - DVD Packs Inclusive Solutions: Circle of Adults Pack Inclusive Solutions: Circles of Friends Pack Inclusive Solutions: Restorative Solutions Pack   Behaviour Self! Using behavioural concepts to understand and work with people with developmental disabilities by Dave Hingsburger Helping Kids Make Wise Choices & Reduce Risky Behaviour Introducing Restorative Justice DVD Just Say Know! by Dave Hingsburger Just Schools : Citizenship in Action Learning to be socially talented children Learning to Listen - Positive Approaches and People with Difficult Behaviour Nurturing Emotional Literacy Restorative Justice at Ryton Park Restorative practices : Rethinking Behaviour Management Restorative Practices in Classrooms

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