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A Circle of Friends for a young person looked
after in Public Care I would like to share a heart-warming story. It
was warm October afternoon in a city primary school. I arrived
to initiate a circle of friends for a young person (Year 6) in public
care. The young person had been living in a city community home for
only a few weeks and was struggling to cope in school particularly
in relation to his behaviour and social skills. The usual list of
challenging behaviours that adults and other young people find difficult
to understand and manage. The whole class session was a dream - very
responsive staff and pupils. The small group session was one of the
best I have had the privilege to be part of because of the way the
young person (lets call him George) shared his feelings. The
volunteers for the support circle met with the young person after
a brief playtime and his joy and excitement was obvious for all
of us to see (he had been very positive about us trying this approach).
George was very engaged and wanting to talk. He said "I saw
you at my unit last night" I responded with "Yes you
did, are you happy for the people in this group to know about where
you are living?" George said he was but he wanted them to
keep it secret so he would not be name called about it saying "I
don't want people saying you spend more time in school than you
do with your Mum!" He was clearly upset by his current circumstances
and wanted me to explain what the community home was
like (he clearly felt unable to do this without help). I
began to tell the group about how many people lived at the
community home and George began to join in. He explained
how difficult things were for him with evident distress inn his
voice. He talked about the boy in the room next to him
keeping him awake until the early hours of the morning by making
lots of noise including continually banging on his wall. He
said "It is the worst place really" and told everyone
how tired he felt and that he really needed to be able to talk
about things, especially when he had had a bad time. The first
task for the group members was agreed straight away - they would
all be willing to listen to George! A small thing in the scheme
of things maybe but an essential need for George. We
all gratefully received a cup of tea/coffee from the SENCo (really
nice cosy feeling on soft chairs in the staff room) and went
on to agree the next targets and strategies for the week as
follows:
· George wants
to improve his handwriting and presentation. The SENCo is
going to look at his handwriting and give some pointers on how
to improve it. John and Jason would like George
to sit on their table so they can help him more (give hints but
not answers) and they will ask their teacher if this
can happen more often. (Teacher agreed to this)
· George would
like people to play with at break time. John suggested taking
turns to play with George. Tomorrow they will play ‘bulldog’ together
and next Thursday they will teach George how to play timeball.
Melissa said it would be good for the group to sit with George
at lunchtime and is going to try and work this out amongst them.
At the end of the session there was
a very positive and warm feeling in the room which was reflected
by their final comments: Melanie “Terrific”
Rose “Really good” Julia “Brilliant” Jason “Positive - you are going
to do well” John “You are going to succeed” Simon “I liked to help – good” George responded with "Good -
well better!" As he left the room he turned to me with a
big smile and said "Thank-you" I had the feeling that the staff and pupils involved would do everything
they possible could to make things better for George. He will
meet weekly with the SENCo and his group of trusted friends. They
will choose a name for the group and I will have the privilege
of returning in a few weeks to review how things have gone - lucky
me! I am continually amazed at the power
of this tool for inclusion! Jackie Dearden Senior Educational Psychologist (Children
in Public Care) Tuesday, 23 October 2001 |